Huge work under tremendous pressure---- very long walk without a pause------- keeping myself cool under gravest provocation-------------resisting all kinds of temptations even at the cost of momentary frustration,out-burst or very serious contempt-------------threats! O My God, all used to come simultaneously---------- to live with those fearlessly------ let me confess,I was never really all assured but I remained ready for the worst because there would not be any thing beyond that --- but I always feared the out come of being undauntedly obstinate clinging to my values and my own view------ walking alone without a brand in scorching heat- bare feet-- without shadow--- without a god-father ( I always missed that ),----almost and ever without a friend or guide------ penniless I was------- without a roof------ and had to apply brakes on steep heights when I managed top speed to scale the Top------------- unbearable pains-------- to choose between their safety and master's ego,lust, whim and threats------- masters ego hurt me most at periodical intervals----- i was not ready to give up and they would not allow me to go on------ never surrendered---resisted openly even at the cost of masters annoyance------ perhaps I fed my ego disproportionately by insisting to be on the right side of the available ways and thereby earned wrath of those who used to deviate and use short cuts and whom I resisted----- always a hard nut to crack- not soft spoken --- used to be transparent when it was not really required,opened myself unwisely and very quickly at places and before individuals and people when it was not advisable at all--------- taking disproportionate risk----- mixing with unsafe groups------not changing the due course even after warning and I walked more vigorously once I was challenged ------- I attacked more on being attacked,---- never defensive, you can say ,------- unwisely misadventureously offensive---------- fought all that came without second line of defense or without any warfare-------- but fought tooth and nail,fighting to the last------- before death the war cannot be left--- that is me ------- none can harm me,cheat me----- I am always beyond your reach----- I am Mr Due,Mr Right----- you cannot ignore me ,You will have to face me--- face to face----- even after I am gone------- and I will go on this same way for the remaining days, months,years or decades------- I must keep on walking till HE makes me stop-------- You cannot stop me ,no matter what comes up ------- I will be walking challengingly openly to the annoyance of one and all but without harm to any one----- I would not allow you,your ego or your whim to harm any one so long I am there and it comes through me ....... I am always against exploitation or injustice--------- but I am not and never against hearing you and getting convinced.... I know I cannot be the best....... I know I am not even fairly good........ I know I have a duty to be just......... I know that I am not above you or all and everything. I do not treat you with contempt. But then I have my humble ways to expect equal free and fair treatment without discrimination and as per my own individual worth. Evaluate me fairly and independently-- of course objectively and justly. I am always yours--- you can always trust me